31 Days of Sobriety: Week 2

So we're on Week 2 of my sobriety quest, and it's going well. In fact, it's easier than I anticipated.

I thought the first weekend would be a struggle. I can't remember more than maybe one weekend in the past 8 or 9 years or so where I didn't have a single drink on either Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. I thought as soon as 5 o'clock hit Friday afternoon, an alarm bell would go off in my head saying, "hey, you haven't had any drinks since Sunday night...you've done a good job! Treat yourself to a beer. ONE beer. Eh, maybe two. We'll play it by ear."

While I did notice that it was 5 PM on Friday, I actually didn't get intense cravings for booze. I think mentally preparing myself for that weekend many weeks in advance definitely helped. I expected to have a totally sober weekend, and in fact would have probably ended up feeling disappointed if I hadn't stuck with my pledge to avoid drinking.

I spent Friday night playing video games with a friend of mine. It was kind of like the sleepovers I would have as a kid; we would take turns playing "Resident Evil 4" or "Starcraft" (although these days it's all about "Starcraft II"), and drink way, way too much soda. I enjoyed that part especially - I quit drinking soda regularly when I was about 21 or 22. That decision was cemented when, after doing so, I lost 12 pounds in a month. Enjoying unhealthy sugary beverages again, especially while staying up late playing video games, was a nice, nostalgic treat I hadn't experienced since I was a teenager.

Saturday night I mostly spent doing something I've wanted to get back into for practically eons...I started painting Warhammer 40,000 miniatures again. When paired with a good playlist or podcast, it's absolutely meditative. I never feel closer to being in a "Flow" state, except perhaps when I get really into something I'm writing.

Nerd Shit game strong

Here's a list of changes I've noticed in myself over the past week, mentally and physically:

1. My mood is more stable and I feel sad, angry, and bored less often.
2. I find it easier to be optimistic; being optimistic or happy aren't automatic, they're skills you have to practice, and being sober makes practicing those skills feel like it requires far less energy. It feels like less of a slog to be positive now. Admittedly, part of this may be the extra emphasis I've been putting on self-care in my daily routine lately.
3. Finding things to occupy my time isn't as hard as I thought. In addition to the Warhammer thing, I find that video games are way more entertaining, since I'm able to focus more on the action. Movies and TV are better, too - since my brain isn't clouded, I'm able to keep track of what's going on with greater ease, and emotionally impactful moments affect me more.
4. Planning for long-term goals seems much less intimidating.
5. Occasionally, I do get hit by a booze craving, especially when I see booze on TV or in a video game. I think that since it's been over a week now since my last drink, it doesn't hit me nearly as hard, and thus is fairly easy to bypass.

I've also been working really hard lately on adding content and functionality to this blog. You may have noticed...

...there's new stuff at the top of the site.

In addition to streamlining navigation a bit more on this blog, I've also uploaded a lot of my previous work, so now, Raebolio is actually a functioning portfolio!

Feel free to check it out. I highly recommend all of my writing.