The Sobriety Experiment: Closing Thoughts

"To alcohol!

The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

-Homer Simpson

Wouldn't it be great if "The Simpsons" ended with Homer dying of liver cancer?

Not that I hate Homer Simpson. From a narrative perspective, it's simply the only logical conclusion for a character whose story has been told for literally decades, and whose identity has prominently involved heavy drinking and overeating.

It's be like the ending of "Dinosaurs" on ABC. Have you seen that shit? All the dinosaurs freeze to death because of the Ice Age, there's a lot of really heavy rhetoric about global warming and industrialism, and then it just cuts to a dinosaur news anchor talking about how it's only a matter of time before everybody dies. And then it just ENDS.

Anyway.

I know I already did a "final week" post, but I wanted to include a sort of "epilogue" for this experiment. I want to share how I've changed in the past month mentally and physically, as well as my experience re-acquainting myself with alcohol.


Former attitude towards drinking formed in college

When I began college, I vowed I would wring absolutely everything I possibly could out of the experience while I had it. As a result, I became a way, way more of an outgoing and confident person than I had been in high school.

Naturally, I began experimenting with alcohol. I had a couple bad nights Freshman year, but for the most part I kept myself under control. I felt like I was doing a great job resisting peer pressure because I could tell other people when I was going to stop. The problem was, I started liking getting drunk on the weekends a lot. In fact, I loved the combination of socializing and alcohol more than either of them individually. A little too much, perhaps.

When I would feel tired or getting too drunk, I wouldn't stop - I'd power through because I wanted to keep experiencing the night's fun, whatever form it took. I was afraid that if I turned in early or let my buzz wear off, I wouldn't be able to maximize my potential for positive experiences, and as a result, I would have wasted an opportunity, albeit one of many, in a very finite, very valuable situation - enjoying my time as an undergrad.

It's not the only way to experience college. It's not even a bad way, if you can handle it without it becoming a problem. It was just my way, the way I chose. I still wouldn't trade any of those experiences for anything.


New attitude for drinking: formed following 31-day hiatus

This was my first beer, following the hiatus. It was a Goose Island Green Line Pale Ale, and it was a tasty brew.

After this one, I had another. Then I stopped, because I felt a gentle, little buzz, and that was enough for me.

I must say, I wasn't surprised my tolerance decreased. I was surprised at how little it had decreased.

I was hoping my tolerance for boozahol would fall to the point where I was good after one or two drinks. That would have made for a very efficient set of drinking habits. The funny thing is, I still got what I wanted, just not the way I expected.

I went out with friends last Friday night. After just one beer (it was a tallboy), I was feeling good and buzzed, and I didn't feel as though I needed more to keep the buzz going. Then I waited 45 minutes, felt more sober, and decided to have another beer.

I waited 45 minutes. I never used to do that.

It's great, because my previous tolerance meant towing the line between buzzed/tipsy, or tipsy/drunk (context-dependent) could be tricky when it took me 3 beers before I felt anything. Which, of course, meant that if I went just a little too hard too fast, I suddenly found myself far drunker than I wanted to be.

When I was in college, I drank to celebrate youth, the weekend, and my evolution into the outgoing, confident person I'd always envisioned myself being. After college, I started drinking more often, and sometimes it got a little too close to out of hand; it was costing me money, health, and sanity.

Now when I feel tired or a little too buzzed, I stop until I feel better, or for the rest of the night.

In fact, I've already noticed the habits I developed during my sober phase are sticking. I'm much more likely to drink decaf green tea as an evening drink, unless it's the weekend. Or a special occasion. Or I feel like, 'fuck it.'

Drinking is fun, and I missed the taste of alcohol (I actually did miss it, even the taste of gin, which apparently everybody but me hates?). Still, I'm glad I did this experiment. I've regained control of my drinking habits. I feel great about that, and about nearly every other aspect of life. For example, if you want to see how I changed physically in a month, my before/afters are below. (Fair warning: if you don't like looking at shirtless dudes, you might want to skip the bottom part.)

Either way, if you were to look at both pictures, you may notice my face looks far less flushed in the second picture (it's always going to look a bit flushed, apparently it's a genetic thing for the males in my family). There's also slightly less belly fat on me in the second picture, and although I don't think my body beforehand constitutes being 'fat', it's still an improvement, and it feels good to look in the mirror and not see all the beers I drank two nights before.

Ending Condition: Comfortable, clean, and clear-headed.

Ending Weight: 162 lbs soaking wet

Ending Height: 5'11.5"

Well damn. Glad I measured before I did this thing.

Hungover, Grumpy Matt (Before)

Sober, Happy Matt (After)